I had never heard the term “Failure to Thrive” until it appeared in my newborn son’s chart—three words that instantly unraveled my confidence as a new mother. I dove into research, desperate to understand, and the only conclusion I could reach was the most crushing one: that I had somehow failed to provide the loving, nurturing environment my baby needed to grow.

It was a brutal hit to the excitement I’d carried into becoming a new mom. I had read books, visualized and planned for feeding schedules, prepared with intention and care—only to be told my child wasn’t growing/gaining weight and wasn’t eating enough.

Then came the flood of unsolicited advice. From other moms, from well-meaning strangers: “Maybe you should just give him formula.” “Are you producing enough breastmilk?” “Are you pumping consistently?” Each question chipped away at me, layering guilt onto confusion, judgment onto exhaustion. No one seemed to notice that I was already questioning everything—already scared, already grieving the story I thought I was writing.

In hindsight, I know many of those voices meant well. But what I really needed was compassion, not critique. I needed support, not scrutiny. I needed someone to say: You’re doing your best. You’re not failing. You’re learning.

And now, as I look back, I share this not to dwell on the ache—but to offer what I once needed most: reassurance. For any mother navigating uncertainty, know this—your heart matters more than perfect technique. Your effort is worthy. You are not alone. Looking back, I’ve come to understand just how deeply the people we surround ourselves with shape our experience—especially in motherhood. In those early, uncertain days, what I needed most wasn’t advice or critique—it was presence. I needed friends and family to show up and offer gentle voices, steady hands, and hearts that met mine with compassion, not correction or comparison.

Over time, I’ve learned to lean into relationships that uplift rather than unravel. I’ve chosen to walk with friends and family who remind me of my strength, who listen without judgment and show up with kindness when it matters most.